Iwakuni White Snake Hash House Harriers

Author Archive

The Happy New Year Hangover Hash

Hares: Beef Curtians and Hasslecock

Others: Middle School Masterbator, Grizzly Had’Ems, Oki-No-no, Madam Butterfly, Bus Buster, Stage Fright, Tingling in the Toyota, Love Me Tender, Weiner Bi a Hair, Right to Remain Topless, Slide aka Truck Fucker, Stove-Top Stuffer, Jessica Strappit, Deep Throat Steam Boat, Will Fuck For Food, Double-O Pig-Sticker, Daddy’s Alarm Cock, GASH, Legend of Bag Her Pants, Bunter, Plowed Mary, No-Name Kim, No-Name Yuko,

It was a brisk and crispy January Morning as a vast crowd of familiar mad men and women gathered once more in the name of family and beer.

The Hares approached, Beef Curtains was joined by virgin hare Hasslecock.

Before these two running lunatics could even be blessed we were underway. Runners, chauncers, one and all, we ventured forth towards Kintai Bridge in a vague sort of way. Once we crossed Route 2, Stage Fright looked to me and ventured a guess as to one of our scenic stops.

I, in turn, turned to Oki-No-No and asked if he wanted to follow Stage Fright and myself to the Snake Shrine near Nice Park.

Circumventing a large portion of the shiggy, the three of us discussed everything from politics and women to designer shoes. Okay, honestly I think I mentioned liking knee-high boots on a woman and that was as much as we touched on the whole designer shoe thing.

We came to the shrine and sure enough we found true trail. We stuck around, hoping to catch a hare, though this would not be. We continued our in depth discussion with nothing avoiding our deepest scrutiny.

Eventually, we realized the opportunity to catch a hare had long passed when Love Me Tender appeared. She was followed by Weiner Bi a Hair and Right to Remain Topless.

Heart-broken, we forged forth, seeking trail signs, eventually coming to the conclusion we had missed our vigilant hares by scant minutes.

Our trail led us through some nice and quiet neighborhoods where Japanese children were playing with grandparents. The pleasant sunshine and chilly winds that greeted our crossing of the Snake bridge eventually brought the like of Tingling in the Toyota and Love Me Tender into our growing trio.

We found ourselves working deeper into Kawashimo and eventually three corners. It was then the haze of wonderful beer began to wane and I realized we had missed a crossing some blocks back.

Utilizing the full breadth of my mental facilities, I deduced we were heading into the Bar district. The Hares would have us believe we were not going to end up somewhere warm was a valid clue to this end. The two stalwart Runners carrying a cooler up the stairs to the Underground Garage had nothing to do with it.

Rallying up at the Underground Bar, we were treated to a full on Turkey Dinner, where there was much merry making, and more importantly Beer.

We recognized a mile stone. Beef Curtains had hared for his hundredth run with IWSH3. We also took time to recognize Weiner Bi a Hair’s pajamas and award him the Hashit for his bravery in wearing such a ridiculous outfit.

We were even treated to a new song courtesy of yours truly.

The Red Dress Run

WHEN: Saturday, 26 September 2010 1400(maybe?)

START: Daiwa (About half way up the mountain) Finish: Cursed Hash Shit Dam

HARES: Legend of Bag Her Pants, 3 Dogs Fucking, & I Rub It So Hard at Granny’s

PACK: To the best of my knowledge it was the unusual suspects, Rusty Giggle-Stick, 12 Year Old Giggle-Gagger, Middle School Masturbator, Seven Finger Fantasy, Pigs in Space, Do Me at the Dome, Wake me up B4U Go-Go, Jessica Strap It, Big Yak Pussy Attack, Love Me Tender, Slide, Stove-Top Stuffer, Madam Butterfly, Okii-No-No, G.A.S.H, Grizzly Had’Ems, Red White and Horny, Dime-Dime-Quarter-Dollar,  Deep Throat Steam Boat, Mommy’s Murple, Holy Hard-On, Don’t Tell Momma I ate the Babysitter, Beef Curtains, Bus Buster, Dick Taster, NN Kristen, NN Dawn, NN What’s His Face(NN Dawn’s Husband…David?), NN Guy Who I Never Met, NN Missey, NN Matt, NN Other Woman Who’s Name Escapes Me, NN Sonya and possibly One More NN Guy Who I failed to learn the name of.

TRASH: Thanks for waiting Wanks and Wenches, still trying to get a handle on things.

It was an oddly sunny day, despite the gloom and doom the following day. More so it stayed a sunny day all day well into the Down-Down. Despite the debatable beer at start it was a fun filled run full of shiggy, beer and men wearing women’s clothes.

A perfect day for the Iwakuni White Snakes Hash House Harriers ANAL Red Dress Run. We were treated to quite a number of virgins and even one Vergenz. The run got underway with the Eagles going downhill and the Chaunchers heading up hill. Just when the Chaunchers thought they would end up at the top of the mountain, we ended up in some shade for a nice little beer stop.

Oh how that beer was good. A little scouting was required to get underway again, however; in due time we were trekking back down the mountain and through a veritable labyrinth of spiders webs and treated to tales of fortune and glory by none other than NN Missy. Just ask her about the spider.

Somehow, we ended up crossing paths with the Eagles who were sweating. Not just Madam Butterfly and Okii-No-No, but the whole whack-job crew of lunatics rushing past, melting out of their fashionable red dresses.

At one point, your humble narrator even saw Beef Curtains and decided to rush ahead. Sadly, I did not fulfill my dream of Chaunching into the Down-Down ahead of the Always Running, Always Homophobic Beef Curtains, but there will be other runs.

One-by-one the rest of the Eagles trickled into the Down-Down, causing a considerable amount of concern on my part. After all, I’m a fairly committed Chauncher and seeing a number of FRBs following me into the circle makes me wonder just how committed to the Chaunchers I really am. Before Beef Curtains and 3 Dogs decide to poach me from my comfort zone, I assure you I have many, many more Chaunches ahead of me.

There were a fair amount of scenic views all along the trail. Most of which did not come with nipples, yet were still enjoyable. Some of those spiders in certain lights were as pretty as any flower, though I was in no rush to pluck them, lest they pluck me in return.

We also held Erections for the new Mismanagement, where as I was erected as your new Scribe.

For the GM we have been blessed with Middle School Masturbator.

Our new RAs are none other than 3 Dogs Fucking(American) and Love Me Tender(Japanese)

The New Beer Meisters are  Okii-No-No and Don’t Tell Momma I Ate the Babysitter

Hash Cash is still Do Me at the Dome

Snack Meister are now Korean Keg-Stand and Stove Top Stuffer

Wired Sex is Red White and Horny

Hare Razor is Beef Curtains

The Song Meister is Deep Throat Steam Boat

Scribe is Grizzly Had’Ems

Haberdasher -Red White and Horny

Following the erections, we got good and socially lubricated for welcoming virgins and Vergenz. We also had many double digits in successive order double digits 22, 44, 88 and 101. Then we moved on to the 3 major milestones Big Yak Pussy Attack got tied on for her 25th head band,  and 3 Dogs hit a double 300th head band and was recognized for his 100th hare which he had hit at the pick up pub crawl… As I GM pointed out you can do the math… $500 of free hash runs….

3 Dogs Fucking being the arbitrator of tradition could no longer carry the Hash Shit fortunately there were 2 nominations to receive it: Me for having a fit about my bike key at the last hash that was found in the exact chair I had been sitting in and Oki No No who took it upon himself to change his given hash name to Iya Iya by having it sewn on his happy coat.  By unanimous decision Oki No No will now carry the hash shit until he purchases a case of nice beer for the hash or some other unfortunate soul earns it

If that wasn’t enough excitement we had the naming of NN Missy, NN Sonia and NN Kristen. Each have completed six runs and we welcomed them into the fold with the traditional non-invasive questions and after many, many minutes of intense deliberation I would like to welcum all our new Harriettes

NN Sonya will forever known as Guaca-Cocka-Mole (learn how to spell, or just go to Taco Bell).

NN Missey will forever known as Daddy’s Alarm Cock.

NN Kristen will forever known as Bitanic

Unfortunately your Scribe had to call it a night for the evening, if only to go home and sob uncontrollably at what a great family he has been adopted into. That and he had to be up at four in the morning to lead a bunch of amateurs up a mountain without beer. Bastards.

So I could not make the On-On-On, but I have it on good authority there was plenty of drinking.

Until next time my lovely Wanks, Wenches and BC,

On-On +++>
Grizzly Had’Ems