Archive for the ‘Upcoming’ Category
Ok late as shit but beer with me here. Summery recap of Hash #558 of IWSH3.
We all met up at that place near that park in Iwakuni, you know the one with the slide.
It was a “Lone Ranger” hare as 00PS prelayed an epic trail through the streets of Iwakuni. In attendance was in no particular order OOPS, Barry-an-Twat-net, BC, Church Quake, Cuntinental Breakfast, DAC, DTSB, Gound and Pound, Hung Solo, I cum For Chum, I would Kill Your Dog, Purple Vein, Queen LaQuifa, Safe Word, Sloppy Fourths, GO GO, NN Iyo, NN Al, NN Ken, NN Yumiko and joining us was Texas Asshole Massacre and 2 Virgins- NN Jeremiah and NN Sarah, exciting I know.
Ok so whilst “00” was “laying his trail” he some how manage to be snared while getting out of his car (can you say auto-haring?) to write beer near by Missed Her Bullseye and Cuntinental Breakfast. He had some excuse about cops, keys, start blah blah blah. So recap, Prelay, with a start wicheyway, auto hash snare. But there was beer at finish, so that’s a win.
And we ended up at that park near the place in Iwakuni, you know, the one with the slide.
Circle was fanominal:
There were a slew of down downs but below is all I remember, sue me I’ve drank and slept since then. Maybe I should bring a pad and pencil.
Church Quake parked her chair in the middle of circle bc she owed the hash dearly. Return/depart x2, Hashus Interuptus, Celebrity, guilty by association etc.
“I will Kill Your Dog” ended up taking his own scenic tour of Iwakuni and still never found finish. Ended up catching a ride in one of the multiple car runs.
For the second hash in a row no one could pitch a tune to save their life so we ended up with most of the pack joinin us in da circle
DAC’s favorite word was frequently used “FLABONGO”. It made multiple cameos this week for a spectrum of down downs. If I recall Hung Solo had to do a Double Funnel Flabongo for Celebrity. He is more famous Christmas.
We had some major milestones this time. One hasher got named and another earned his White Snake Hash name. NN AL rose as “Diner Defecator” and Missed Her Bullseye is now known in the Kuni as “WHOA- Will Hump Oversized Ass” They both endured the frosty air with the frosty beer, not sure either one remembers their name due to the violent shaking from the chill. Cuntinental Breakfast and safe word received their 25 “un tie-ons
It was our first frosty hash of the season, thanks be to the snack miester for bringing warm holiday themed nom noms for circle.
First stab at scribery… it is a train wreck I know. I’ll pay… I know.
Until next time, Let bygones be bygones and you can get your hash on, you and yo momma.
Re-visting the scene of the crime (Nash Hash2012). IWSH3 headed back up the mountains for an epic weekend.
Video diary of the excellent 2013 Hanami Hash. Tanks to all for setting up and carrying on.
Check out the awesome video done by our own Barry Ann Twot Net…
Hares: 3 Dogs Fucking, Purple Penis Eater
Tiny Two Stroke
When: March 31, 2012
Start: Driving Academy/baseball field
Hares: Tiny Two Stroke, Beef Curtains, Got A Slit Hashing
The Pack: Love Me Tender, Sloppy Fourths, Wake Me Up B4 You Go-Go,
Barry An-twot-nette (and his dog Rex), Queen Laqueefa, 3 Dogs Fucking
(With Argos), 7 Finger Fantasy, Purple Vein, Deep Throat Steam Boat,
Weiner by a Hair, Gitmo Pimpo, NN-Jen, NN-Joe, NN-Adam, NN-Kanako,
The *un: “If you Hash….they will cum…” Being that the original
Hanami Hash was cancelled and moved, I had a dream. In that dream G.
appeared to me and spoke. “If you Hash, they will cum…” So I had a
bright idea of doing a pickup Hash. I contacted the GM and he said as
long as enough people were down, it could happen. So with that being
said, I think the turnout was great and hope we can do more!
For anyone unfamiliar with a pick up Hash, the original hare gets a
five minute head start, after which the rest of the pack may begin to
chase. If the Hare gets caught, the person who caught the Hare is the
new Hare. He gets a five minute lead and if he gets caught the next
person is the Hare. So forth and so on.
I get my five minute head start. I take off down a path, under
some railroad tracks, and into a neighborhood where I turn back
towards the starting area but along a different road where I wouldn’t
be seen. So there I was (no shit) about 7 or 8 minutes into the *un
and who do I see running down the road towards me? BC, and he has this
big shit eating grin on his face. His zenning ways have finally paid
off after so many miscues. He was probably due. I give him the
flour, tell him where the beer stops are and off he goes. And
wouldn’t you know it, after being gone for so long, GASH eventually
caught BC. GASH’s skills still intact? Or is BC’s skills slipping?
At finish, NN-Felipe asks where the water is and of course I point
to the Holy Down Down Cooler testing to see if he was taught
correctly. Of course he wasn’t and he proceded to grab a drink from
it. He got to drink from the Hashit for that one. NN-Jen left early
(as usual). Which was probably a good thing because she was leaving
true trail arrows on trail. Something which I had mentioned about NOT
doing while she was giving chalk talk to NN-Joe. She owes us many
drinks. Someone said head and we proceeded to sing about it. Except
Go-Go who was drooling over herself. NN-Kanako got welcomed with the
traditional Ol’ McDonald song. But when we got to the whale part,
after we had spewed out our liquid, she proceeded to spit back! How
awesome. She chased some of us around spitting and eventually caught
GASH and spit all down his neck. First in was LMT, while last in was
Go-Go. NN-Kanako got called in for dropping and spilling some beer.
LMT had poured out some Chu-hi which I called her in for alcohol
abuse. 3 Dogs had new shoes and for his defense he asked for a
lawyer. Somehow I got to be his lawyer (I called him in for the shoes
too), and that was a bad idea. Of course he was guilty and the lawyer
had to drink from the new shoes too. LMT called Sloppy in for being
mean to her. Sloppy was given a lawyer (me again) and after a tough
case he was guilty. I wouldn’t ask Tiny to be anyone’s lawyer
anymore. Weiner and GASH were called in for Hashus Interuptus. We
were welcomed with a celebrity Hasher as GASH was in a base paper.
LMT tried to call in all those who had blood on trail LAST trail. She
even mentioned 7 Finger being on her period last week to which 7
Finger said “What the fuck!!”…. hahahaha Ok, gotta run now. Have
another Hashtrash to send out about this weekends Hanami Hangover
Easter run. Which is after a pub crawl the night prior!!! What a
crazy week this will be.
P.S. did anyone lose a black hat? Or a clipboard? You can drink to
get them back.
Tiny Two Stroke
When: March 24, 2012
Hares: Hasslecock, Tiny Two Stroke
When: January 1, 2012 ( New Years Day Hangover Hash)
Start: A parking lot across the street from a cemetery. (Near the
Iwakuni Sports Park)
Hares: Wake Me Up B4 you Go-Go, Sloppy Fourths
Pack: Stagefright, Horny Creeper, Barry An-twot-nette, Ploughed Mary,
Bunter, IBM, Beef Curtains, Tiny Two Stroke, Deep Throat Steam Boat,
Purple Vein, Gaijin Gong Wild, NN-Miyo
In the beginning, Go-Go was on the street selling tricks, or showing
everyone where start was. (Maybe both?) And as soon as she came back
to start, figuring the rest of the pack would be able to find start,
BC drove right by where she was standing. But after a quick
turnaround he made it there ok. The Hares had some Bloody Marias (V8
and Tequila) waiting for us to help anyone with a hangover. The
weather wasn’t as cold as it could be, so Tiny decided to wear his
kilt; as BC and Ploughed Mary were wearing shorts. BC blessed the
Hares and after they left, he also led the Hash aerobics with Father
Abraham. After the 12 & 3 minute wait, the pack was on their way. I
have included a link at the end that should show the eagle trail.
There was a nice little dirt slide where BC slid first, Horny Creepy
fell/slid, and TTS fell/slid all the way into Horny Creeper helping
her slide even more. Not sure if it was intentional or not sliding
into her. The trail was a good one. Shiggy, hills, bamboo, running
through farmers fields, all the classic makings of a good trail. At
one point, BC did what he does best (zen) and made his own trail.
TTS, Horny Creeper (and I think Ploughed Mary somewhere behind) were
the true trail runners. There was one point where BC, TTS, and Horny
Creeper were searching for trail at an intersection, and Horny Creeper
found trail and we did not hear her yell “ON-ON”. So that left us
searching for trail that much longer. She did say later on at her
gorilla down down that she did yell it. But it wasn’t until BC and
TTS went the way she went and saw her running way down the trail, did
we hear On-On. She did wave to us. Somewhere on trail BC got a nice
little gash (GASH?) on his leg that got infected and led to an
emergency amputation. He finished the rest of the trail hopping on
one leg. But I’m sure it didn’t hurt as much as 3 Dogs teeth did at
At finish there was the usual punishments. I can’t remember who was
first/last in (Stagefright and Ploughed Mary?), but BC nerd named
himself at start, and had blood on trail. Gaijin got called in for
something and forgot to take his beanie off so had to drink again.
And you would think someone would learn their lesson the first time.
But Gaijin got called in again later, and once again left his beanie
on. Not sure if he has learned his lesson or not. Keep a watch on
him at the next Hash please. DTSB rejoined us from the states where
she Hashed with the newly formed Black Beard H3 in Jacksonville, NC.
We had some visiting Hashers, Horny Creeper and Bunter. I think Horny
Creeper is from Samurai H3, and Bunter from Kobe. AND we have a new
edition to our wonderful pack. Welcome IBM ( I’ve Been Masturbating)
He has hashed in Okinawa (sucks) before and the man has brought him
from San Diego to Iwakuni. Ploughed Mary got a headband for having her
6th run with us. She likes her name and decided that she’ll keep it
rather than be renamed in the cold. But that didn’t stop Go-Go from
pouring the ice filled cup down her spandex pants. Which helped keep
the ice in. She was dancing around while the GM was taking his time
thanking her, talking about her, and picking out a song. I’m sure by
the time she got to the Flabongo it was nice and numb down below.
New paragraph here means something important right? Of course. I
need to discuss the passing of the Hashit. You mean TTS doesn’t have
it anymore? I couldn’t have it forever could I? I had a nomination
for the Hashit. I presented my case to the pack, named the accused,
and rested my case. The RA asked if there was any other nominations
for the Hashit. BC was nominated for not attending the Bonekai but
his case was quickly dismissed by the pack. Which left just Tiny Two
Stroke and Deep Throat Steam Boat. Would Tiny keep it or would it be
passed on? The crime she was accused of is something I can not speak
of as it was a horrendous crime. I shudder everytime I think about it
so I dare not mention it again. But after a close vote by yelling,
she is now the proud owner of the Hashit. Luckily for me, Bus Buster
wasn’t here as her loud and proud lungs would have surely overpowered
anyone else. So shocked was she about being awarded the Hashit, that
she forgot to pass out the patches she brought back from her trip to
North Carolina. Or it could’ve been the shock of all the mixings
inside the Hashit that she had to drink. By the way, I have a
protective order against her as her looks of death upon me have me
scared for my life. So she is not allowed to Hash within 50 feet of
me until I get a hug from her. I only used the Hashit once to unclog
a toilet and assured her I have washed it since then. But I am sure
she will carry on the Hashit tradition with pride as only a few
‘lucky’ Hashers can say they got to be part of this unique tradition.
Tiny Two Stroke
The Happy New Year Hangover Hash
Hares: Beef Curtians and Hasslecock
Others: Middle School Masterbator, Grizzly Had’Ems, Oki-No-no, Madam Butterfly, Bus Buster, Stage Fright, Tingling in the Toyota, Love Me Tender, Weiner Bi a Hair, Right to Remain Topless, Slide aka Truck Fucker, Stove-Top Stuffer, Jessica Strappit, Deep Throat Steam Boat, Will Fuck For Food, Double-O Pig-Sticker, Daddy’s Alarm Cock, GASH, Legend of Bag Her Pants, Bunter, Plowed Mary, No-Name Kim, No-Name Yuko,
It was a brisk and crispy January Morning as a vast crowd of familiar mad men and women gathered once more in the name of family and beer.
The Hares approached, Beef Curtains was joined by virgin hare Hasslecock.
Before these two running lunatics could even be blessed we were underway. Runners, chauncers, one and all, we ventured forth towards Kintai Bridge in a vague sort of way. Once we crossed Route 2, Stage Fright looked to me and ventured a guess as to one of our scenic stops.
I, in turn, turned to Oki-No-No and asked if he wanted to follow Stage Fright and myself to the Snake Shrine near Nice Park.
Circumventing a large portion of the shiggy, the three of us discussed everything from politics and women to designer shoes. Okay, honestly I think I mentioned liking knee-high boots on a woman and that was as much as we touched on the whole designer shoe thing.
We came to the shrine and sure enough we found true trail. We stuck around, hoping to catch a hare, though this would not be. We continued our in depth discussion with nothing avoiding our deepest scrutiny.
Eventually, we realized the opportunity to catch a hare had long passed when Love Me Tender appeared. She was followed by Weiner Bi a Hair and Right to Remain Topless.
Heart-broken, we forged forth, seeking trail signs, eventually coming to the conclusion we had missed our vigilant hares by scant minutes.
Our trail led us through some nice and quiet neighborhoods where Japanese children were playing with grandparents. The pleasant sunshine and chilly winds that greeted our crossing of the Snake bridge eventually brought the like of Tingling in the Toyota and Love Me Tender into our growing trio.
We found ourselves working deeper into Kawashimo and eventually three corners. It was then the haze of wonderful beer began to wane and I realized we had missed a crossing some blocks back.
Utilizing the full breadth of my mental facilities, I deduced we were heading into the Bar district. The Hares would have us believe we were not going to end up somewhere warm was a valid clue to this end. The two stalwart Runners carrying a cooler up the stairs to the Underground Garage had nothing to do with it.
Rallying up at the Underground Bar, we were treated to a full on Turkey Dinner, where there was much merry making, and more importantly Beer.
We recognized a mile stone. Beef Curtains had hared for his hundredth run with IWSH3. We also took time to recognize Weiner Bi a Hair’s pajamas and award him the Hashit for his bravery in wearing such a ridiculous outfit.
We were even treated to a new song courtesy of yours truly.